Dancing with the Stars … done.

American Idol … over.

The Voice … silence, merciful silence.

Now maybe we can get back to watching good television again.  Here’s a hint, people: any show that needs a full two hours (or more) to reveal two seconds of results is wasting your time.  Sure, television is supposed to waste a couple hours (or more) of any given day–it isn’t intended to be a productive use of our time.  However, there is a point where we simply must draw a line.  There’s wasting time, but then there’s someone else (network TV) totally wasting our time in a way that takes undue advantage of our gullibility, laziness, or full-on lack of functioning brain cells.

Case in point: the last two hours of American Idol … that was just brutal.  Why do we do that to ourselves?

Aw hell.  I just made the mistake of checking out the television schedule for the rest of the week.

Maybe there is no escape.

Normally I like ridiculously tight short-shorts and tank tops, but seriously, how can you look at this picture and not want to hurl something in the general direction of your television screen?  The pretentious head-tilts and neck-cocks and vacuous looks …

I don’t feel so good … someone find my bucket!  Not that one … the one with the big CW on it!

In case you’re far luckier than I and it has never even crossed your radar before now, ANTM = America’s Next Top Model

I’m a little surprised but happy to report that ABC has ordered more scripts for No Ordinary Family. No full season order yet, but at least this suggests there is hope. Look for full review of NOF later this week.

American Idol. I can take it or leave it. Most of the time, any given performance by any particular “idol” makes my skin crawl. I completely despise the whole audition arc every season. I don’t really care to ever see another emotional or mental cripple make a fool of himself for the entertainment of the masses.

But you know … Steven Tyler as an Idol judge could just work. At this stage of his career, he simply can’t carry off the whole “Wild Man of Rock n’ Roll” thing. He’s much more of a businessman than a rock-god.

For years, my biggest argument with Idol has been the misguided attempts of various wannabes to measure up against the big dogs, the Divas and the demi-gods. No one, not even Adam Lambert, can do anything by Queen justice. No one else is Freddie Mercury. The same could be said of Aerosmith and Steven Tyler.

Now, at last, when someone on the panel says “you’re over-reaching” and “you’re no Prince” … he’ll know exactly of what he speaks.

Wow. Reviewed one day, gone the next. Fox has announced that Lone Star has been replaced on Mondays by Lie to Me after only two episodes. Honestly, the show deserved better than that.  But hey, thanks Fox for proving me right!

… and still no HD. I don’t get it. But, some quick impressions of Season 17 of the just about the only reality show you can make me watch.

Serious increase in the overall “Hottie Factor”. My count: 6. And that’s with a fairly strict definition. Lowering the factor to “Simply Nice to Look At” yields a 10. The male side of the equation, while I’m not qualified to judge, may be lacking.

While all the above should be looked at as just having a little fun, there does seem to be a very real effort on the part of the show to include a higher percentage of women. But I’m not complaining.

Phil insists the race is going to be tougher than ever. Judging from the first installment, he may be right.

Watermelon to the face! Wow … way to hang in there, Claire.

For the second straight season, proof that bigger isn’t better right up front at the first elimination.

I’ll be tracking Amazing Race throughout the season, hopefully posting something each Sunday night/Monday morning.

Curse you, Brooke Burke! You almost had me, you reality show vixen! That purple dress you’re wearing on tonights DWTS premiere is a show stopper. I nearly choked on my remote.

But I shall not be swayed, Oh Tempting One! Not this season … not ever more!

Of course, should I have a moment or two to simply buzz past all the inane chatter and waltzing amateurs … we may just meet again.

Oh yes we may.

It’s been a while since the Nets went all out like this, scheduling a full week of almost nothing but premieres, throwing nearly every new show into the fight and going for broke.  It could get bloody, people.

Starting Monday, all four of the big dogs (ABC, CBS, FOX, and NBC) will open up on the new fall season with all guns a’ blazin’.  Nothing is getting held back.  Oh sure, there will be a straggler here and there–No Ordinary Family, for example–but those appear to be mostly because there just isn’t any room to get them on the air just yet.  NBC is holding a couple of shows out, possibly waiting for the dust to settle.  But it’s NBC, so who really knows.

It promises to be a busy, busy week fellow Hellraisers.  Though my DVR might go nuclear at any given moment, I’ll do my best to keep up …