I was going to skip over the various cable network cancellations, until I noticed that several rather good programs are no longer going to be with us.  Still, I will just stick to the highlights here.  And no, I don’t care about any show on Bravo or E! that got pulled.

• In Plain Sight (USA) – I LOVE Mary McCormack, but it was probably time for this one to go.  Good show, just time.
• The Closer (TNT) – Another good show with a great cast that leaves on its own terms and probably right on time.
• HawthoRNe (TNT) - I only got a glimpse of this after watching something else I actually cared about.
• Memphis Beat (TNT) - Gone too soon.  This simple little cop show had a lot of charm and should have been given more of a chance to really catch on.
• Men of a Certain Age (TNT) - Another show I feel slightly guilty for rarely watching.  It was pretty good really, just not my sort of thing.
• Eureka (SyFy) – This is a good one, but not better than anything else that SpiFy has cancelled over the last several seasons in favor of more reality show crap.
• United States of Tara (SHO) – Didn’t care for it.  Showtime has much better stuff to watch.
• Skins (MTV) – Almost nothing on Music?WhatMusic? TeleVision ever gets my attention anymore.  But this one made some waves once upon a time.
• The Protector (Lifetime) – I might have even watched this if I had any clue that it was on.  Ally Walker has a certain appeal.  Sorry Ally …
• Roseanne’s Nuts (Lifetime) – And then we’ve got this, your polar opposite of anything resembling a show with any appeal whatever.  Combining Roseanne Barr and a reality show actually was greenlit by someone … it boggles the mind.  No wonder I never tune in to Lifetime.  It would make more sense to give another talk show to Rosie O’Donell …
• The Rosie Show (OWN) – This was actually on TV? No way!
• Bored to Death (HBO) – I tried watching this.  Just not that hard.
• Eastbound & Down (HBO) –  Hit and miss at best.  When it missed … wow, did it miss.
• Entourage (HBO) – Should have been cancelled about two season ago.
• Luck (HBO) – Ran out of luck when too many horses kept dying.
• How to Make It in America, Hung, & The Life & Times of Tim (HBO) – HBO, it seems, is cleaning house.
• Rescue Me (FX) – This is one of those shows I should have watched more often.  Definitely worth catching up on DVD or Netflix.
• Make It or Break It, The Nine Lives of Chloe King, & State of Georgia (ABC Family) – Were all of these as completely interchangeable as they sound?  Never watched a single minute of any of them.  Maybe that isn’t completely fair to say.  I may have starting watching Chloe if it had lasted more than a season.  As for the other two … I’m being completely fair.
• Glen Beck (Fox News) – Buh-bye.

It’s that time again when we learn the fate of television shows, both loved and reviled, and some not even on our radar. The following is a list of those no longer with us … accompanied by an appropriate eulogy when needed.

A few random observations:

1. I’m heartened by the almost routine failure of a wide range of reality and game shows, most of which seem to get unceremoniously dumped.  For example, this little bit of good news from NBC (May 13): ‘Not making the cut on the reality front are “Escape Routes,” “Fear Factor,” “The Sing-Off,” “”Minute to Win It,” “The Marriage Ref,” “Who’s Still Standing?,” “It’s Worth What?” and “Who Do You Think You Are?”‘  Most of that list was just too unremarkable to bother metioning below.  I suspect there are still more than these that failed to make this list.
2. Only the CW beat out CBS with the fewest cancellations.  I’m not sure the CW should really count because I don’t think they’re still trying, but it is interesting that the two nets answer (to some extent anyway) to the same overlords.
3. Other than The New Girl, I can’t think of any new show on Fox that made the cut this year.
4. So called ‘period pieces’ just don’t seem to be working on network TV any more.
5. Special Programming Note: Rules of Engagement is again floating out there as “on the bubble”.  This is becoming the latest variation of the “sitcom that just own’t die”, a title previously held by Scrubs until it actually did, finally, die.

ABC

• Desperate Housewives – I love Terri Hatcher but I quit watching this years ago … right around the time it probably should have been canceled all along.
• Charlie’s Angels – Farrah Fawcett was much too old to make this thing work. What? No Farrah? Well screw that!
• Combat Hospital – Uh … what?  Wait … I have a very vague memory of this being on very briefly.
• Cougar Town – Not quite dead since it is getting moved to TBS.  Any chance of getting that name change with the change of venue?
• Expedition Impossible – Nothing warms my heart like a cancelled reality/game show.
• Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – Another case in point (see Expedition above).  My only regret is that they killed this off before they got to my house.
• GCB – I heard there was some kind of big controversy around this thing. Really? Why the hell would anyone care? Hey, I kind of like that little blonde gal with the huge … um … voice. But this show was not my cup of tea … or anyone else’s either. I’m still not sure what it was about. They let Kristin sing, right?
• Karaoke Battle USA – C’mon … now you’re not even trying!  This concept was so pathetic it was barely a blip on anyone’s radar.
• Man Up! – Man Down! Man Down! (How can I avoid an obvious joke like that, right?)
• Missing – Missing In Action. (Another obvious joke). I really wanted this to work. It didn’t. Kind of a poor man’s ‘24′ with more estrogen.
• Pan Am – Crashed and burned! (Ah yes … the hits just keep coming!) Mad Men on AMC may be a critic’s darling, but it’s hardly a ratings success for all that. This was just one of many lame attempts to cash in with a similar period piece.
• The River – This illustrates a major difficulty for network TV … trying to get viewers to invest in “big mystery” dramas. We’ve just been burned too often.
• Take the Money and Run – When you get the idea for your reality show from a tune someone probably sang on Karaoke Battle USA, you can’t be surprised when it sucks.  I’m just happily surprised no one watched this.
• Work It – Huh? What the hell was this? I’m not even going to bother looking it up.

CBS

• CSI: Miami – Here is a fatality with almost no mystery to it all … much like any CSI:M plot ever written. This show will live on in syndication and no one will ever be able to hear certain songs by the Who again without seeing Horatio in his sun glasses.
• How to be a Gentleman – AKA “How to get Cancelled in Four Episodes or Less.”
• NYC 22 – Kind of like Rookie Blue with a lot less blue. By ‘blue’ I mean eye-candy. It’s like Grey’s Anatomy without Katherine Heigl. What? Katherine’s not on Grey’s Anatomy anymore? Well, glad I quit watching that crap.
• A Gifted Man – Never really bothered to watch this and yet, I kind of feel guilty about that now. But I also feel like I kind of saw the same show only with a lawyer or an ex-cop.
• Rob – Ah. Perhaps proof that there really is a God.
• Unforgettable – This is one of few shows on the Dead and Gone list that simply shouldn’t be here. A better lead-in or a better time slot and this really could have worked. A police procedural with a little more to offer … like a smoking hot red-headed Poppy Montgomery. It that ain’t ‘must see TV’ I really don’t know what is. All kidding aside. Good show and I’m sad to see it go.

CW

• H8R – Did this crap even make it on the air? God, I hope not.
• One Tree Hill – Did this crap even make it on the … what? Really? It’s been on that long? Wow. Glad I missed it.
• Remodeled – Removed.
• Ringer – Dead ringer.
• The Secret Circle – No secret at all … just not that good. A poor attempt to suck in the Vampire Diaries and Supernatural crowd. Probably could have done well on ABC Family.

FOX

Jaime Pressly

• Alcatraz – Real potential here, but I’m afraid the viewing public is far too reluctant to take a chance on any show of this sort when you know it is almost certain to be cancelled about the time you really get invested.
• Allen Gregory – I’m a big fan of Family Guy, but this was just too … uncomfortable. Oh … and just not very funny.
• Breaking In – Resurrected but only briefly. Sort of an odd duck, but one I sort of enjoyed. This time it’s gone for good.
• The Finder – This had a lot going for it, including a very charismatic cast and an unusual premise. It worked. But evidently not for Fox who never really got behind it and shoved it into a Friday time-slot where no one was going to bother finding it.
• House – Had a great run on Fox and going out at just the right time.  I’ve watched a few, but I’ve never been a huge fan.  At least when it was on, Fox didn’t jamming another extra episode of American Idol in the time slot.
• I Hate My Teenage Daughter –  Didn’t hate it.  In fact, I kind of liked it.  But mostly for Jaime Pressly.  Any thing that keeps Ms. Pressly on my television set is okay by me.  Nope.  Didn’t hate it at all.  But could be I was saving all my hate for …
• Napoleon Dynamite  - Oh my lord this was completely unbearable.  In fact, I’m surprised I can type right now without swearing.
• Terra Nova – Fox took a huge chance on this and I really, really wanted it to work. Maybe it was a case of trying to please too many masters and it certainly couldn’t have been cheap to produce. Still, with a bigger investment in the effects and some tighter writing … *sigh* … we’ll never know what could have been.
• In the Flow with Affion Crockett and Q’Viva: The Chosen:  Wow.  I’ve got absolutely nothing to say since I had no idea either of this shows ever existed.

NBC

• Are You There, Chelsea? – Nope. Chelsea doesn’t live here anymore. Who’s asking? Oh, right … nobody.
• Awake – I should have known (and actually, I wasn’t fooled at all) that this was going to go away too soon and leave me hanging. Again. And the networks continue to wonder why these kind of shows never seem to work anymore.
• Best Friends Forever – A cliche does not a TV series make.
• Bent – I heard good things about this one. It came and went before I could find it on the cable listings.
• Chuck – Honestly, this show lasted at least two seasons longer than I ever thought it would. It’s one of those I only occasionally bothered watching, but I will certainly do the full run via Netflix or something soon.
• The Firm – A flop. No way this was ever going to make it. Bad idea. Bad show. Just bad.
• Friends with Benefits – Add it to the list of generic, interchangeable sitcoms that flashed rather briefly across our televisions this season.
• Love Bits – Case in point.
• Free Agents – And again, ditto.  I think maybe I watched this. Once.
• Harry’s Law – Another lawyer show with Kathy Bates in the title role. I love lawyer shows usually. I’m just not that fond of Ms. Bates.
• The Playboy Club – On HBO or Showtime, this might have actually worked. Not even the totally to be expected cries of ‘boycott’ and ‘lock up your kids’ could save this one.  Need more T&A.  A lot more.
• Prime Suspect – Unlike Kathy Bates, I simply love Maria Bello. But when this was shelved in favor of The Firm (unbelievable), I knew it was done. There are simply too many cop shows around and little chance for new ones to connect with an audience. Would been better served as a mid-season or summer replacement.

Wow. Reviewed one day, gone the next. Fox has announced that Lone Star has been replaced on Mondays by Lie to Me after only two episodes. Honestly, the show deserved better than that.  But hey, thanks Fox for proving me right!

Back on October 8 (more or less), NBC made the surprise announcement that it had cancelled Southland outright … weeks before it was scheduled to debut on Friday nights. That was after the net had postponed its premiered date.

But the latest word is that TNT may look to pick up the series. Production already has sex episodes in the can, so it’s a ready-made product for any cable net that picks it up. Here’s hoping someone does.

Honestly, being moved away from NBC and the chaotic behemoth that is NBC Universal may be the best thing for Southland.

I just read that The Listener has been canceled by NBC.   Not a big surprise really.  I’ve watched it a few times and, compared to other available programming (mostly off-network), it was hardly worth my time.  We already know how dedicated the big networks are to original summer programming.  Hell, they barely seem to give a crap about the stuff they role out in the Fall.  Here’s a list of shows the networks (not including The CW) have rolled out over the past year only to cancel almost immediately, some before I could catch them on my DVR … even if I wanted to:

• Do Not Disturb (Fox): Jerry O’Connell (who I happen to like a lot) stared in this fairly pathetic excuse for a comedy.  It lasted a surprising six episodes.
• The Ex-List (CBS): A Friday night “dramedy” that lasted just four episodes before getting the boot.  The original show-runner bailed out long before then.  Between 6 to 9 more episodes were filmed and left unaired.
• Fear Itself (NBC): Just one on a long list of truly unforgiveable reality shows aired by NBC this season.  Lasted eight unbareable episodes before being put out of its misery … and ours.
• Homeland Security USA (ABC): Reality show was unceremoniously pulled (with as many as five more episodes in the can)  having aired only eight episodes.
• In the Motherhood (ABC): Comedy which aired just four episodes before getting placed on hiatus.  One episode popped up on the schedule in June, but that’s it.  Two episodes never aired.
• Kings (NBC): This drama just fell short of airing its full 13 episodes, leaving only two unaired.
• The Listener (NBC): Drama in the vein of Medium in which the lead character, a paremedic, can “listen” to other people’s thoughts.  Filmed 13 episodes, but only seven of those aired in the U.S.
• Momma’s Boys (NBC): This reality show went for six episodes.  Couldn’t say if it was supposed to go any more than that, but it appears only those six were produced.
• My Own Worst Enemy (NBC): Never able to catch on despite a solid lead-in from Heroes, this show was canceled after just nine episodes.  None were left unaired.
• Opportunity Knocks (ABC): Game show appeared on the schedule just three times before vanishing for good.
• The Unusuals (ABC): Amber Tamblyn headed up the ensemble cast of this out-of-the box crime drama.  It was able to complete its full 10 episode order but will not be back next season.